How To Confuse Your Kids' Identity in a Few Easy Steps

Did you see what I did there? I wrote a compelling headline to draw you in…Clever, huh? Well, in reality it probably didn't work, as no one really sets out to explicitly confuse their kids about anything. I think. But I seem to have done just that, and I will explain why.

We are a mutt kind of family over here. I am from England, my husband is from Finland, and our kids were born and bred in Southern California. I'm not sure what that makes my kids, but I do know that my husband speaks an interesting version of Finnglish. 

I've never really given this situation a lot of thought. Of course, I get the weekly "Where are you from in Australia?" question as I check out at Trader Joes, (to which I reply: "London", but no one really gets my joke,) but last weekend I was forced to look beyond my own identity crisis and examine the one I've unwittingly forced upon my kids.

Why now? One word: Superbowl. Whilst chatting with some American friends over dinner during my son's soccer tournament, the dreaded question spilled out. "So, Gabriel… Who will you be supporting during the Superbowl?" I peered over my bowl of Pho at my 9 year old son as he muttered something alone the lines of, "No one. I don't follow football. I don't really know the rules and stuff." Even I, the Brit on the sidelines, knew this was some kind of sacrilege to be spoken amongst the sport loving American audience. His friend's dad responded that he was going to kidnap him and bring him to America. Fair point. After 10+ years of living here, I should at least have made a small effort to introduce the biggest sport in the country to my boys. But then again, it wouldn't fit in with other fringe lifestyle choices I've made, such as always driving back from vacation on Thanksgiving "because everyone will be celebrating, so the roads will be quiet…"

Regardless, I swallowed that one and made a mental check to make a better effort at immersing my American born Euro kids into true US culture. I wasn't too worried, as I knew they identified themselves closely to their European roots and that at least that was something. That was, until the following day when watching a live premiere league soccer game (or should I say "football?", this is all getting so confusing), I made a joke about the ginger haired player on the field being Prince Harry. My son turned around to me and asked who Prince Harry was. 

And just like that, my illusions shattered around me. I realized I'd failed miserably at creating any kind of identity at all! Not American. Not English. And, let's face it, you've got to grow up in Finland to claim any of the hardy Finnish traits. So, basically, identity failure. Sure, they like marmite on toast. And I know their first beer will probably be a Bodingtons. But as far as really helping them to feel like they belong in one culture or another, I score an almost nothing.

Does this matter? Will they be better off for floating around amongst cultures without strapping their feet to the soil of one in particular? Will they themselves ever feel an identity crisis in the way I often have for moving country so frequently? Or will they decide that what they lack in American football knowledge is totally compensated with their understanding of Finnish cursing? I really can't say at this point.

But what I can say is this. If my headline got you to read as far as this, my copywriting must be right on track!